Monthly Archives: November 2010

Every morning my wife stands on the scales dressed in her clown outfit. I love her funny little weighs. My grandmother left us a family size bottle of fabric conditioner in her will. It’s a Comfort to us all. Every … Continue reading →

I was going to visit the Greek underworld but Hades keeps turning it upside down. Flipping hell. That fictionalised TV drama about The Shadows ended with Hank Marvin tying a noose round the singer’s neck. It’s a real Cliff hanger. … Continue reading →

I got ridiculously drunk at the National Society of Hairdressers’ Christmas Ball. I fell into a comber. As a young man I spent a lot of time dreaming up fancy custard recipes. I wanted to impress Birds. I don’t think … Continue reading →

I was never a big fan of mould. But it’s starting to grow on me. My friend Pinky claims to be ill, suffering from a crisis of identity. He looked quite Perky to me. To help him get over his … Continue reading →

While signing autographs yesterday, Nick Park squirted ink all over a little girl’s toy Gromit. It’s a real stain on his character.   When I staggered out of the club all I could think about was bum, legs and fanny. … Continue reading →