Author Archives: Paul Saxton

Didn’t expect to be so long at the ‘Interpreting Meals Through Dance’ workshop. I had to skip lunch. Very excited to take part in the ‘Grow a Garden In Your Clothes’ workshop today. I soiled my pants. Slightly nervous about … Continue reading →

I’ve heard, unofficially, that I’m the winner of this year’s ‘Overdone English Breakfast’ competition. I just need to get it very fried. Just finished a massive plate of knotted spaghetti. I do love tie food. I suppose it is excessive … Continue reading →

Right, I’m off to post myself to my own address. Back in a Jiffy. Right, I’ve got to help my neighbour Maureen get into her garage. Back in a Mo. I think I should be knighted for my work on … Continue reading →

Every morning my wife stands on the scales dressed in her clown outfit. I love her funny little weighs. My grandmother left us a family size bottle of fabric conditioner in her will. It’s a Comfort to us all. Every … Continue reading →

I was going to visit the Greek underworld but Hades keeps turning it upside down. Flipping hell. That fictionalised TV drama about The Shadows ended with Hank Marvin tying a noose round the singer’s neck. It’s a real Cliff hanger. … Continue reading →

I got ridiculously drunk at the National Society of Hairdressers’ Christmas Ball. I fell into a comber. As a young man I spent a lot of time dreaming up fancy custard recipes. I wanted to impress Birds. I don’t think … Continue reading →

I was never a big fan of mould. But it’s starting to grow on me. My friend Pinky claims to be ill, suffering from a crisis of identity. He looked quite Perky to me. To help him get over his … Continue reading →

While signing autographs yesterday, Nick Park squirted ink all over a little girl’s toy Gromit. It’s a real stain on his character.   When I staggered out of the club all I could think about was bum, legs and fanny. … Continue reading →

A few more jokes/puns from the last couple of days – including some with a Halloween theme. Whoooh! I keep leaving MENSA questionnaires in my GP’s waiting room. I’m really testing his patients. I was really annoyed when the council … Continue reading →

Below are some of the puns and jokes I’ve written these past few weeks on Twitter – hence their brevity. There are a lot (probably far too many) in this first post but I’ll update in smaller chunks in the … Continue reading →